internet quizzes
by ChocoBunnyDrops
Summary: Hinata likes to send Yamaguchi quizzes he finds on the Internet, and Yamaguchi decides he and Kei should take one. Because that's what best friends do. Take trashy relationship quizzes together. Today's topic: Who Should You Go With to the Summer Festival? Yamaguchi's pensive. Kei's amused.


"Are you done with your homework?"

Kei stretches languidly, muscles stiff after a long afternoon of studying at the Tsukishima household. Practice is done for the day, and so is the mountain of paperwork his teachers insist on assigning to make sure they learn their lessons or some crap like that. Kei's pretty sure it's really just to waste his time.

"Yeah," Yamaguchi replies, tucking his own pile of sheets into his school bag, "I don't have to be home for a few hours, so we can hang out until then." The bedsprings groan when he lowers himself onto the mattress next to Kei. It was roomy when they were kids, but now it could barely accommodate the two still-growing teenagers. Kei holds back a blush at the warmth of Yamaguchi's thigh pressed against his, the casual brushing of shoulders with every minute movement. He's hyperaware of every spot they touch, like little jolts of electricity burning themselves into his memory.

Sunshine filters through the open window and strikes Yamaguchi's face at the perfect angle. His freckles glow, and Kei's breath hitches.

He doesn't know whether to curse or thank the gods above that Yamaguchi has no idea what he does to him. He's blissfully unaware of Kei's eyes resting on him a fraction of a second longer than necessary, or the little voice in his head telling him to close the distance between their lips because he looks _so perfect_ right now.

No, Yamaguchi blinks innocently at him and smiles, "What do you want to do?"

"Anything is fine." _As long as you keep smiling._

Yamaguchi ponders for a moment, then brightens. "Want to take an online quiz? Hinata sent me one a few days ago that he's been bugging me to do."

Kei snorts. "Of course Hinata would be into that."

"Now now Tsukki," Yamaguchi chides. "He's one of our teammates, and they're actually kind of funny."

He fishes his laptop out of his schoolbag and opens his email, which seems to be filled primarily with excited messages from Hinata and the occasional family correspondence. He clicks on the latest email and opens up two windows, one for each of them.

 _"_ _Who Should You Go With to the Summer Festival?"_ in flowery cursive glares at them from the screen.

Kei arches an eyebrow at the bubbly pink background of the website. "Isn't this a quiz for girls?" _Desperate, lovestruck girls_.

Yamaguchi has the grace to look sheepish. "Yeah, Hinata doesn't really take gender into account when he sends me them. I'm sure the results will still be accurate for us!"

Kei highly doubts anything from a website that asks if he wants to join their email list _for_ _exclusive tips on how to get the perfect brows!_ could remotely understand him, but Yamaguchi looks excited so he'll go along with it.

 _Question one! Which celebrity has the hottest abs?_

Kei thinks its adorable how Yamaguchi blushes at the images of shirtless men, despite having seen them in the club room every day. He hurriedly selects a blond with defined pectorals while Kei nonchalantly clicks the first male he sees in the other window.

 _Question two: You catch your bff's new boyfriend having fun under the sun with another girl. What do you do?_

A. Call her immediately and tell her to dump the jerk.

B. March over there and beat the shit out of him yourself.

C. Keep quiet on the matter; you don't want to hurt her, and maybe it's a one-time thing.

D. Take pics and use them as blackmail. You'll never have to pick up your dry cleaning again!

Yamaguchi's expression is pensive as he seriously considers the question. While it's cute to see his nose scrunch up in concentration, it _is_ just a trashy relationship quiz and Kei doesn't see the need to spend five minutes on every question.

He flicks Yamaguchi on the forehead. "Oi, pick one already."

Yamaguchi rubs the newly sore area, frowning. "I'm still deciding," he protests, moving the mouse over C, then A, then back to C. "On one hand, it's bad that he's cheating on her, but it could just be a misunderstanding."His eyebrows furrow. "But if he's really cheating on her, she should know. I'd want to."

Kei's eyes harden at the idea of anyone cheating on Yamaguchi, kind, caring Yamaguchi who would probably blame himself and pretend it didn't hurt even though it was chipping away at the self-confidence it took him so long to build. The Yamaguchi who was just learning how to let his true sassiness show around people besides Kei, who was earning the trust of the upperclassmen, who always knew just what to say to get him out of one of his moods.

Suddenly B is _a lot_ more appealing.

Yamaguchi finally settles on C, arguing that he shouldn't jump to conclusions and find out more before talking to Tsukki (who is apparently in real risk of getting cheated on, based on how much time Yamaguchi spent thinking).

 _Question three: What's the first thing you notice about a potential partner?_

A. A smile you can't help but return.

B. Utterly kissable freckles.

C. Eyes that Marco Polo could get lost in.

D. The butt. If the booty is what counts, they better be a 10/10.

Kei lets the mouse hover over D, pretending to choose it, because Yamaguchi's right. This quiz, in all its trashy glory, is actually pretty amusing.

Yamaguchi's jaw drops. "Tsukki!"

Kei laughs, genuinely, and selects B.

They spend the next fifteen minutes giggling over the sheer tackiness of the quiz questions, ranging from _What's your ideal vacation spot?_ to _When did you last purchase lingerie?_ It isn't how Kei thought they'd be spending their afternoon, but Yamaguchi's head had fallen against his shoulder during one of their bouts of laughter and their sides were touching and he couldn't remember the last time his chest felt so light and that made everything okay.

"Oh my god, I can't believe—" Yamaguchi couldn't finish the sentence; he was wheezing too hard. "— _Hinata_ takes these kinds of quizzes. Do you think he sends them to the rest of the team too? My god, imagine _Kageyama_ picking out his favorite bath bomb scent." He bursts out laughing again, jostling Kei as he rolls uncontrollably on the bed, Kei barely saving the laptop from being knocked onto the ground.

Yamaguchi's laugh makes nearly getting a faceful of floor completely worth it.

"Okay," Yamaguchi wipes his eyes, sitting up on the bed, scooting closer to Kei. "Let's see our results."

The paragraph of text that appears as soon as the website finishes buffering is as tacky and overzealous as everything else they've seen today. The unnamed love guru proclaims that Yamaguchi should go with "the **Too Cool 4 School** , who's hiding a snarky sense of humor and killer bod behind his stoic exterior. He might seem like a bit of an asshole, especially once you hear his infamous jibes in person, but that just means his mouth is as dexterous as the rest of him ;) Above those rock-hard abs is a tender heart that will love you for who you are, and makes sure you know it. He can be surprisingly shy and gets flustered by affection, so woo him with genuine gestures of kindness and a heartfelt smile."

Kei's isn't much better. "The **Sweetheart** should be your date to the festival! Don't be fooled by his gentle nature, because he's got a mischievous streak that only reveals itself to the lucky few who can capture his heart. The Sweetheart loves taking care of others, but in doing so neglects himself. Make sure to remind him of his own value from time to time and spoil him rotten with all his favorites! Nothing will make him happier than the knowledge that you care enough to pay attention to his little quirks."

The two share a good laugh, because _wow_ they're definitely going to have a talk with Hinata about the types of quizzes he takes and because laughing is just what they do when they're together. Laugh. At crazy things and stupid things and genuinely funny things that are made funnier by the sheer power of each other's presence.

"So," Yamaguchi starts, after they've both settled down a bit. His cheeks are tinged pink from laughing so hard, and his hair is mussed from rolling all over the bed. "Speaking of the festival, do you have a date?"

Yamaguchi averts his gaze and twiddles his thumbs, acting uncharacteristically shy. Kei would find it adorable if he wasn't so perplexed as to the cause. "We always go together."

"Yeah, but if there's a girl you want to go with this year, I'm okay with it." Is he imagining things or does Yamaguchi's face looks a tiny bit sad?

"A girl?" Kei stupidly repeats, because the thought of going to the festival with anyone _but_ Yamaguchi has never crossed his mind, let alone any of the insipid girls who giggled about him when they thought he couldn't hear.

"Yeah." Yamaguchi turns even pinker. "A girl."

He must have taken a second too long to respond because Yamaguchi's face drops the way it does when he messes up a serve. "I figured. Is she anyone I know?"

"No,"Kei finally manages, surprised (and maybe the tiniest bit gleeful) that _this_ was what Yamaguchi was so worried about. A _girl_ , of all things, like he would ever abandon him for that. "Be logical Yamaguchi. The only girl I talk to on a semi-regular basis is Yachi, and everyone knows she's head over heels for Kiyoko." Except Kiyoko, but that was neither here nor now. "If I was ever interested in someone, you'd be the first to know. I promise."

Correction: if he was ever interested in someone _besides_ Yamaguchi (which, given the way the other's blossoming smile made his heart pound twice as fast, was highly unlikely), he'd be the first to know.

"Okay," Yamaguchi beams.

"Glad it's taken care of." A pause, then a beat later. "Is there a girl _you_ want to go with?"

"What? No, of course not!" Wildly waving his arms, as if his vehement objection isn't clear enough, Yamaguchi's so red Kei's worried he'll pass out if he doesn't calm down soon. "I don't want to go to the festival with anyone but you, Tsukki!"

 _He means as friends he means as friends he means as friends_ Kei chants to himself. _Don't get the wrong idea_.

"Likewise." He's trying (and failing) to stop the tips of his ears from turning red, because emotions aren't exactly his strong suit and expressing how important Yamaguchi is to him has happened, well, never, but _someday_ he'd find the words to say that if he's the moon, Yamaguchi's all the stars in the sky and he wouldn't be able to shine without him.

Fucking hell that was so sappy and decidedly _not_ -Kei.

But then Yamaguchi smiles again, and all is right with the world.

"8 o'clock on Saturday? At our usual spot?"

"I'll be there."

Ha. Maybe he could _finally_ confess at the festival and they'd share their first kiss right as the fireworks went off. Yamaguchi always was into that cliché sort of ending.

OuO

A/N: Thank you for reading! this idea struck me really late at night and I'm a sucker for trashy internet quizzes (i actually tried to find some as references but i couldn't so good job for growing up internet) and thus this fic was born. Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated :3

I'm at chocobunnydrops on tumblr so hmu there if you want to talk abt Tsukkiyama or hq in general !

~Tressa


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